


Thorns

by kinneyb



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneyb/pseuds/kinneyb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Justin left Brian for Ethan, he thought he would finally have what he wanted; a loving, romantic, stable relationship. He quickly realizes he was mistaken when Ethan starts hitting him. What happens when Brian finds out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter. It took me quite a few days to finish it but I'm pretty happy with it.

The first time it happened, Justin brushed it off as a fluke- an accident. When Ethan's hand collided with his cheek, he went stumbling back and nearly tripped over the rickety - and only - table in the small apartment. Seconds later, he felt Ethan grabbing his arms, steadying him and looking at him with wide eyes.

"Justin," he breathed, squeezing his arms tight, "I didn't mean that. Really, I just got - "

"I know," Justin replied instantly, feeling Ethan's fingernails digging into his arms. He knew what had caused it; him mentioning Brian. For Ethan, it didn't seem enough he had went with him that night - had chosen him. He still got so angry, so irrationally angry when Justin even seemed like he was thinking of mentioning Brian.

Licking his lips, he carefully removed Ethan's hands from his arms and held them, the right one warmer than the left. Justin's first instinct was to get angry - yell at him, run out, never come back but then reality settled and he realized even if he did run out he had no place to go. Debbie might let him stay with her but only if he told her why, and Daphne might but she had that new roommate who Justin could only assume wouldn't enjoy his presence. "I need some air," he said simply.

Ethan stared at him for a couple minutes before finally nodding weakly, stepping back.

Justin faked a smile as he slipped out the door. For a good bit, he just stood there in the hallway, his back against the door. He listened, tried to figure out what Ethan was doing in the room behind him but there was no noise; not even the familiar sounds of his violin. Finally he pushed away from the door and started for the stairs, taking two at a time so he could reach the bottom quickly.

When he did, he rushed for the main entrance and stepped out into the cold night air. The wind was strong, normal for a winter night in Pittsburgh, and with each gust his cheek stung more and more.

Settling against the side of the building, he slowly pressed his fingertips against his cheek, testing the damage Ethan had caused; it stung a fucking lot and he was sure it was going to bruise but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle or hadn't felt before. Justin snorted at that, mentally giving his father the middle finger.

It wasn't until the night got even colder that he decided to sit, pulling his knees up against his chest and wrapping his denim jacket tighter around him. He had read and heard a lot about domestic abuse but he never really imagined that type of stuff could ever happen to him. With Brian, he had never once worried about him hitting him - even at the beginning. After his bashing, Brian had actually made a lot of effort of keeping others from even playfully hitting his head - Debbie mostly as, for her, smacking people upside the head seemed to be a sign of fondness.

Resting his chin on his knees, he stared at the brick wall across from him. One more chance, Justin reasoned, he'd give Ethan one more chance but if he did this again he wouldn't think twice about leaving.

******

"Sunshine!"

Justin cringed as he entered the diner, wishing so desperately Debbie would've let him quit when he had wanted - or more like when Michael had wanted. Before he could brush her off, she was cupping his face, her eyes slowly hardening as she moved his face from side-to-side.

"What happened?" she demanded in a soft voice, finally releasing his face. "And you better not lie."

He shrugged. "I rolled out of bed last night, hit my face on the way down." When she looked disbelieving, he continued, "Ethan, uh, is a restless sleeper, moves around a lot - best be happy it wasn't worst," Justin added lightly, hoping she'd believe him now.

She totally fucking didn't, he saw it in her face but she smiled nevertheless and patted his arm. "Well, you better get to work, customers have been asking about you - more accurately about the 'cute, hot twink server'," she said with a wink before turning and going back behind the counter.

Relieved, Justin quickly grabbed his apron and started working.

Debbie, thankfully, didn't ask about his bruise again and Justin was hoping maybe the bruise wouldn't have to be discussed again before it had time to go down but then the door rang. Looking up, his eyes landed on Michael first before slowly glancing at the others behind him; Emmett, Ted -

His heart jumped.

But most importantly Brian.

Justin turned his back to the group, idly fixing some coffee cups that weren't straight.

"Can we get some water, Sunshine?" Brian drawled.

Unlike before, the nickname wasn't used endearingly at all - it was said with a purely condescendingly tone, which just made Justin want to crawl inside a hole and never come out again even more.

He stood there still for a few minutes more but then he heard Brian again:

"God, the service around here sucks."

Huffing, he turned around and could instantly feel all eyes on him. Biting the inside of his cheek, he slowly grabbed the pitcher of water and walked around the counter. When he reached the table, the first person to say anything was Emmett - always the one to cut through awkward silence.

"Baby," he said in a voice so soft it was almost inaudible. Justin was pretty sure he even saw his fingers twitching on top the table, probably instinctively wanting to reach out for him. Unlike Debbie, he didn't though and simply asked: "What happened to your face?"

Justin shrugged, avoiding looking directly at Brian as he filled up all four cups with water.

"I don't think a big ol' bruise on your face is something to be shrugging off," Michael mumbled, and Justin caught him looking between him and Brian. He knew the worried look in his eyes wasn't for him but Brian.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he finally glanced at Brian.

And just as he suspected he wished he hadn't. He was completely expressionless, and not in the usual way - usually Justin could see right through him when he pulled that shit, could see him for what who he really was, what he was really thinking. It was a gift as Daphne had called it. Right now though he saw nothing, absolutely nothing in his eyes, not a twinge of anger or sadness or even exasperation.

Then just like that he was back. "What happened?"

Justin felt a little silly for being so happy that he could see what Brian was feeling in his eyes again, which now he could see was pure fucking anger even if he was acting nonchalant outwardly, barely even glancing at Justin as he answered: "I rolled out of bed, hit my face."

"Bullshit," Brian replied but his voice was surprisingly soft, quiet. He grabbed his water and took a sip. When he realized the entire group was staring at him, he promptly made a show of rolling his eyes before focusing on Justin. "Bullshit, Sunshine, you sleep still as a log. You wouldn't just roll out of bed," but then that was all and he didn't say more, pulling his attention away from Justin and putting it on Michael.

Michael asked something, sounding a little excited but Justin didn't listen. He grabbed the pitcher of water and nodded a small goodbye mostly towards Emmett who he noticed was still watching him before walking away.

When he was gone, Emmett made a point of kicking Brian under the table. Hard.

Brian lifted an eyebrow at him, rubbing his leg soothingly with the other.

Emmett looked unimpressed with his reaction. "Are you an idiot?"

"I'm wounded, Honeycutt," Brian briefly touched his chest, "I thought I was an asshole - not an idiot."

Emmett nearly smirked. "You're both." Then after a beat, he added, "and don't call me that."

Shrugging, Brian leaned back and waited, knowing this wasn't over yet.

Side-eyeing Justin behind the counter, Emmett continued: "Something is obviously up with Justin. You said it yourself, it would be out of character for him to 'roll out of bed' which means he is most likely," Emmett dragged out that last part, waiting for Brian to finish the sentence because he knew Brian was thinking the same thing - had been from the second Justin opened his mouth.

He didn't.

Huffing, Emmett went on: "He's lying, he's covering something up."

Brian shifted slightly, and if Emmett could he'd picture this moment; a rare moment of Brian looking uncomfortable.

"We don't know that," Michael interrupted, "I'm sure the kid just fell. Let it go, Em."

Emmett shrugged, leaned back in his chair; a perfect copy of Brian from earlier. "Sure, I'll let it go," he drawled, keeping his eyes glued on Brian. But he knew one thing for certain, Brian wasn't going to do the same.

******

Justin felt an odd mix of emotions when the group left. Most of the group walked out with no goodbyes, though Emmett did smile at him, but then Brian as usual had to be his own man and lingered. When he approached the counter, Justin felt his heart start thumping so fast he felt breathless. His heart betrayed his mind - when didn't it? - and actually believed for a second Brian was coming up to tell him he knew he was lying, that he wanted the truth and would be there for him no matter what the truth turned out to be.

"I want some coffee," Brian said, eyeing him. "To go."

Just like that, his mood deflated like a balloon. "Sure," he mumbled, turning his back to Brian and grabbing one of the styrofoam cups. He knew it was his fault for having expectations, hope. He couldn't blame Brian for that. As it was, they weren't even together now - or at least as together as they had been, which hadn't been perfect but good. Justin breathed out sharply. Damn good.

Popping the lid on the cup, he turned back towards Brian and placed the coffee in front of him, giving one of the most convincing smiles he could. Justin saw it then for just a brief moment; the familiar warm glint behind hazel eyes that he had missed so much. Brian didn't say a word, merely pulled some money out and dropped the bills on the counter.

Then he stood up, taking the cup with him.

Justin was almost turned back around when Brian spoke: "Justin."

Justin braced for the inevitable and slowly turned on his heels, briefly glancing at Brian's face. He looked oddly calm. He didn't know exactly what Brian was planning on saying or doing but he knew with Brian you should never guess or you'd most likely be wrong. It was best, in his experience, if you just skipped guessing. "What?"

"A real man needs to know when to ask for help," Brian said simply. "Remember that."

Stunned, Justin just watched as Brian slipped out the door.

"You okay there, Sunshine?" Debbie asked, coming up next to him. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

Justin gulped, still not moving his eyes off the door. "No," he breathed, "that would be less shocking."

Debbie furrowed her brows, looking curious but for once she didn't ask and Justin couldn't have been more relieved. He was still working out what Brian had said nevertheless what he really meant by it. "Well, table two needs to be cleaned," she said, gently patting his arm. "Unless you want - "

Scrambling, Justin grabbed the bucket. "I'll do it."

******

When his shift was over, Justin stepped outside, lingering on the sidewalk. It was almost dark out and he knew he couldn't put off going home too much longer no matter how much he wanted to. Pulling out a cigarette, he crossed the street and started the walk back to Ethan's shitty apartment.

"Justin?"

He knew that voice instantly. Turning, he smiled. "Em?"

Emmett was just a few feet away, holding a couple bags. Justin glanced at the bags; all clothing stores. "I know," Emmett said as he walked closer, huffing, "Teddy said I didn't need any new clothes too but I saw a lot of great sales in the paper and... Actually, there is still one store left I wanted to check out. Wanna come with me?"

Justin knew Ethan would probably be mad if he was late but... "Sure."

Squealing, Emmett grabbed his hand and Justin laughed. He let Emmett pull him in the direction of the store, listening as he went on and on about the stuff he had already bought; none of it was his style but he knew Emmett could pull anything off.

He said that, and Emmett looked at him funny for a moment before smiling. "Thanks, baby."

When they entered the store, Justin went for the only section that had anything that might be his style and started idly looking through the sweaters. He wasn't actually planning on buying anything, of course - as much as he hated admitting it Brian really had paid for mostly everything for him before, now any money he made from working had to go to the essentials - but there was no harm in looking.

After a few minutes, Emmett joined him, making a face. "Boooring."

Justin shrugging, looking at the black sweater he was holding. "I kinda like it."

Without a word, Emmett grabbed the sweater out of his hands. "Okay then."

Justin glanced at him. "Okay then what?"

Grinning, Emmett started for the checkout and Justin quickly followed, still confused. When he reached the checkout, he stacked all his own items on the counter then finished with the black sweater on top. He side-eyed Justin, still grinning. "I'm buying it for you. Duh."

"Em," Justin warned, "you really don't have to do that."

Emmett waved him off.

After realizing he wasn't taking no for an answer, Justin stopped arguing.

When they got outside, Emmett handed Justin the bag with his sweater and smiled warmly. Justin smiled back. He really was thankful for the sweater though he still didn't think Emmett needed to be spending money on him.

"Thanks, Em," he said, reaching over and giving him a hug. "Really."

Justin was a little shocked when Emmett didn't let him pull back right away, squeezing him tight. "Justin," his voice was soft. "No matter if you're with Brian or not, we all love you very much. You know that, right?"

He slowly nodded, feeling a little nervous.

Emmett finally let him go, ruffling his hair. "Okay, just making sure."

"You're weird," Justin said but he was smiling. "I gotta go." He lifted the bag. "Thanks again for the sweater."

******

A few minutes later, Justin was unlocking the door to Ethan's apartment. He realized, in theory, it was his apartment too - not just Ethan's - but it felt wrong thinking that. As it was, it was Ethan's and would be until he felt at home in it but Justin knew that probably was never going to happen.

When the door unlocked, he paused, preparing for what was most likely waiting for him behind the door before finally opening it. Before he could even properly walk in, he heard Ethan: "Where the fuck have you been? I thought you only worked until eight. What the fuck happened?"

He squeezed the handle of the bag that contained his new sweater and quickly put on a fake smile. Lifting his head up, he tried not to look guilty of anything. He wasn't, of course, but if Ethan got the impression he was he might as well be. "I went shopping."

Ethan stared at him then glanced at the bag. "Alone?"

His heart jumped. The truth supposedly always sets you free but Justin knew better. "Yeah."

Ethan stepped towards him. Justin instinctively stepped back, feeling like an idiot for being scared. He was so pathetic; he had gone through so much - almost _died_ \- and he was scared of being hit a few times? "You're lying," it wasn't a question. "Who the fuck were you with?"

"Emmett. You know Emmett. He's just a friend."

He was expecting - if anything - to be hit or slapped so Justin wasn't prepared for when Ethan yanked his bag away from him, making him stumble a few feet before finally stopping with his hand against the wall. Looking up, he felt his heart sink as Ethan tore his new sweater in half once and then again, continuing to do so until it was just a dozen pieces of fabric on the floor. When he was finished, he stomped on the fabric and dug his heel in.

Justin flinched. "Ethan, I told you he was just a friend... You didn't have to do that."

"A friend?" Ethan scoffed, stepping away from the pile of what was once Justin's sweater and approaching him. Justin immediately realized he was being cornered and gulped, trying not to let his emotions show on his face at the development. If he knew one thing it was that no matter how much Ethan fucked with him he wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was scared.

Justin nodded sharply.

"But not your friend," Ethan stopped in front of him, eyes narrowing. "Brian's friend."

Justin kept silent, watching him, waiting.

"Was Brian with you too?"

Suddenly he realized why Ethan was so angry. He shook his head. "No, I told you I wouldn't - "

He was cut off when Ethan's hand connected with his cheek, the sound of the slap echoing through the small apartment. Justin immediately felt his eyes watering and closed them, breathing in shakily. No crying, there was no fucking way he was crying. Not now, not ever. Finally he opened his eyes again. "Ethan, I told you I wouldn't see Brian again. You can trust me."

His cheek was still stinging from the first slap when Ethan came in for a second time; his hand curled in a fist now. Justin tasted blood in his mouth - not a lot, but enough he felt sick. And it didn't help he was feeling a little dizzy now.

Blinking fast a few times, he ran his tongue over his teeth, washing the taste of blood away.

"I wish I could trust you," Ethan said, and the sad part was he truly sounded sorry.

But Justin knew better; knew he couldn't believe a single word out of his mouth.

"But boys like you," Ethan gestured at him lazily, "cheat on boys like me. Circle of life."

Justin barely heard him, feeling even more off-balance now. "Ethan," he reached out for him, grasping his arm. He guess he had to be grateful Ethan didn't push him off because if he did Justin was pretty sure he would fall right over. "I don't feel so good."

"Come on," Ethan didn't sound angry now and Justin felt slightly relieved it was over. For the moment, at least. Wrapping his arms around him, Ethan walked Justin over to the bed and helped him in before pulling the blanket up over him. A beat later, he was resting next to him and running his fingers down his back. "I love you, Justin," he said, and Justin almost snorted; he sure had a way of showing it. "I just do this - get this way - because I can't lose you."

"I know," Justin mumbled but he really didn't know; didn't understand how you could hurt the person you supposedly loved. He could never have hurt Brian - not like this, never with his own two hands. When Ethan squeezed his arm, Justin knew what he wanted. "I love you too." Knowing Ethan was probably happy now, Justin closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep despite the throbbing headache he had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Most updates won't be as close together as this one and chapter 1 but I've just been having so much fun writing this story (despite the content not always being the happiest, oops) that I'm actually finishing the chapters fairly quickly (unlike usual). Thank you all for the positive feedback, I really appreciate it and hope you continue enjoying the story! 
> 
> Also if you're on tumblr and wanna follow me (I post a lot of Queer as Folk) or even if you wanna just ask me anything about the story and be sure I get back to you the fastest (as I'm always on there) my tumblr is kinneyb.tumblr.com

When Justin woke up the next day, he carefully slipped out of bed in hopes of not disturbing Ethan. When he was on his feet, he glanced at the sleeping figure still in bed and searched his face - really looked at it. No matter what angle he saw him at, he didn't look like the type of person who would secretly be hitting his partner behind closed doors. Justin almost snorted. If anything, a person might look at Brian and expect that but any person who really knew Brian would know better; he'd never physically hurt a person unless they really deserved it.

Going over to the corner of the room, he pulled out a shirt and pair of jeans from his bag - which he had conveniently 'forgotten' to unpack again when really he just didn't want to. The minute he unpacked his bag, he was admitting defeat and he knew that. Yanking his shirt and jeans on, he glanced at Ethan one last time and mouthed goodbye before going out the door.

******

He wasn't scheduled to be working that day but he still found himself arriving at the diner, finding strange comfort in the smell of fried foods - that whiffed out and hit him in the nose as soon as he opened the door - and sea of familiar faces. He took a seat at one of the booths and waited. Not even five seconds later, Debbie was at the table, smiling brightly at him. "Hey, Sunshine," she greeted cheerily. "You don't work today, you know."

Justin smiled up at her. "I know. I was just hungry and thought I'd stop by the place with the best food around."

She laughed wholeheartedly, patting his shoulder. "Sure you did." Pulling out her notepad and pen, she continued. "What do you want?"

He was grateful she didn't comment on his face which was surely even more bruised today. He shrugged. "How about just some pancakes? Oh, and tea."

Nodding, she scribbled his order down and disappeared behind the counter. When he was alone again, he sat back and sighed heavily. His cheek still stung each time he moved his face wrong or opened his mouth, the bruises sore and unforgiving. His head was just as bad as last night; throbbing crazily. He didn't have a history of bad headaches but this was almost unbearable.

When Debbie appeared again, she placed a plate of towering pancakes on the table then a glass of tea. "You okay, Sunshine? You don't look so good."

Justin barely glanced up, grabbing his fork and cutting a small piece off the stack of pancakes. "I'm fine," he forced a smile on his face and finally looked up properly, "I promise." After a minute, he added, "I just have a headache."

"Oh," Debbie furrowed her brows, looking mildly worried. "Are you sure you're fine? I have some - "

Justin stiffened. "I'm fine, Deb," he quickly interrupted, his face softening seconds later, "but thanks for worrying."

She nodded, glancing back at him as she walked away, still looking just as worried. A part of Justin almost felt bad for making her worry but it wasn't like he could just blurt out that he had made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving Brian and subsequently starting a relationship with a physically abusive violist. Looking back at the stack of pancakes in front of him, he suddenly wasn't very hungry.

******

After he finished breakfast, he left a tip on the table and went over to the cash register. Debbie stopped him. "On the house."

"Deb," Justin mumbled, pulling his wallet out. "You really don't have to do that."

Putting on her no-bullshit face, the same one she always used with Brian, she gently swatted his hand. "Put that up and go use the money you would've spent on this on something fun." She patted his back, pushing him towards the door. Justin tried arguing but she wasn't having it, cutting him off each time. Pointing a finger in his face, she continued: "No arguing with me, Sunshine, you know how much I don't like that shit."

Smiling, Justin reached over and gave her a big hug. "Thanks." When she pulled back, his smile widened. "Maybe I can use the money for some new art supplies."

Debbie brightened. "Good. Have a wonderful day, baby, I'll see you tomorrow."

Amused, Justin nodded before slipping out the door. He tried reasoning why Debbie was treating him almost sickeningly sweet. No matter what she knew, there was no hiding the obvious bruises on his face. Justin couldn't help wondering what she thought had really caused them because there was no doubt she didn't believe his story from the other day.

Pushing such thoughts out of his mind for now, he decided he really _would_ use the money on some new art supplies. After-all he was getting low on certain colors of paint and he could also use a few new paintbrushes; his old ones were getting worn out. Feeling a little better, he started off in the direction of his favorite local art store.

******

After an hour or two of shopping, Justin returned back to the apartment with his new supplies, feeling giddy. No matter what mood Ethan was in, he was sure he couldn't ruin his own; all he cared about was getting inside and setting up the proper things so he could paint. He hadn't had a strong urge to do much of anything the past week - following the breakup with Brian - nevertheless paint and he didn't want the urge to be wasted or taken for granted.

Painting was, and always had been, an outlet for him and he needed that right now - needed to be able to put all he was thinking, feeling, on paper. When he entered the apartment, he didn't see Ethan and breathed out, relieved.

Ethan usually returned back around six or seven, which was still a good few hours away - it had just turned noon, making Justin feel even more like luck was on his side for the first time in way too long.

Placing his shopping bags on the bed, he pulled out his easel and set it up by the window.

The painting he had last been working on was still hung up on it, taunting him with all the emotions he had first felt after walking out on Brian. He hadn't worked on the painting since that day, deciding it was better not to relive the terrible feelings for once but just leave them all inside untouched.

After staring at it for a few minutes longer, he finally reached up and slowly removed the painting from the easel, placing it against the wall. Forcing his eyes away from it, he walked back over and emptied his shopping bags out on the bed. Looking at all the new supplies, he was suddenly even more excited to create something new. Something that was his own, something not even Ethan could take from him.

Something he could look at with happiness, not sadness.

It wasn't until two hours later he realized he was painting Brian.

Sighing, he began the finishing touches on his face, putting special care behind defining the same features that made Brian so gorgeous; not just to him but thousands of people. He didn't notice Ethan opening the door and entering the small apartment before it was too late.

"What the fuck is that?"

Justin felt goosebumps form on his arms, the back of his neck. He stared at the unfinished drawing for a few long seconds, trying to decide if he could convince Ethan it was him or simply a random figure of his imagination but he knew there was no denying who the man was meant to be; it was obvious in every single way.

Finally he turned. "Eth - " Before he could say anything, Ethan was rapid, pushing him back with strength Justin didn't even know he had. He fell back against the easel and heard the sound of paper ripping as he and the easel both landed on the floor. His head hadn't been hit but it was already throbbing again. Scooting over off the painting, he was a little relieved when he saw he had only torn the corner of it.

"What is it going to take," Ethan was yelling now, "for you to get over that asshole?"

Justin turned just as Ethan swung his leg back and he threw his arms up as quickly as he could in a feeble attempt to protect his face. He didn't do a good job, feeling the pain as Ethan's boot collided hard with his jaw. Something made a terrible cracking noise, and Justin only assumed it had to be his jaw.

He tasted blood; a lot of it.

Peeking out from behind his arms cautiously, he was relieved when he saw Ethan sitting on the bed now, removing his shoes. He didn't stay relieved for long though, quickly noticing the generous spots of blood on the tip of his shoes. His stomach immediately betrayed him and he barely got to the toilet before he puked.

Justin reached up with his face still over the toilet, feeling for a towel. When his fingertips touched cotton, he quickly pulled the towel down - not caring if it was clean or not at this point - and softly wiped his face with it. He was five seconds from just breaking down and sobbing; the one thing he swore he would never do.

Standing up, he tossed the towel back on the sink. His legs were a little unreliable, trembling under his weight but he didn't care; he had to get out and fast. Glancing at Ethan, he saw he was busy getting undressed and took that as his chance. Without a word, he escaped out the door and began running down the hall.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped outside, he quickly realized he had forgotten his shoes - the concrete was like ice against his bare skin - but there was no way he was going back now.

Swallowing back a sob, he started for the only place he knew he'd always be welcomed.

******

When Daphne opened the door, she immediately knew something was wrong. "Justin," she reached out and gently traced the new bruise forming on his jaw. "What happened?" Then after a beat, she added: "Where the fuck are your shoes?"

Justin glanced briefly at his bare feet, suddenly feeling like sobbing all over again.

"Just get in here," Daphne quickly said, pulling him in and closing the door behind him. Running her hand down his back comfortingly, she walked him to the small kitchenette in her apartment and gestured towards a chair. He sat down gingerly, grateful when Daphne handed him a bottle of water, not even realizing just how dry his mouth was until now. Daphne lingered over him for a few seconds, examining his face. "That must hurt... Let me grab you some meds." When he opened his mouth, she waved him off: "I know what you are and aren't allergic to, Justin."

Nodding, Justin grabbed the bottle off the table and took a swig, watching as she momentarily disappeared out of the kitchen. He didn't know why he had come here; he definitely didn't want her knowing about Ethan but Daphne just always had a way of making him feel better, safer.

When she came back, she handed him a couple pills. He graciously swallowed both.

Sitting across from him, she sighed. "I know you probably don't want to tell me what that - " she gestured at his bruised up face " - is about but I think I have a right to know, considering you showed up at my place looking like you just got out of a dog fight."

Justin chewed on his bottom lip nervously. "You're gonna say 'I told you so'."

Since he had gotten with Ethan all Daphne ever talked about was how much she disliked him, how he gave her a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. If Justin had trusted her instincts and listened to her, things would probably be a lot different now.

Daphne gave a soft smile and reached across the table, squeezing his hand. "I won't."

Justin squeezed back. He could do this. If he just said it, things would change. Daphne would help him and he could get away; easy as that. "Ethan, he - " As if on cue, his phone started ringing. Taking his eyes off Daphne, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. Ethan. He suddenly felt sick again, any hope he had felt a second ago slipping away.

"Justin," Daphne squeezed his hand again. "Are you okay?"

He stood up. "I need to take this," he said simply.

Daphne nodded, watching helplessly as her friend went inside the other room.

Answering the call, Justin wasn't shocked at all when Ethan's voice, loud and booming, nearly deafened him: "Where the fuck did you go? I turn away for one damn second and I look back and you're gone? Where are you?"

Justin went for the truth only because he knew Ethan had never been told where Daphne lived. "I'm at Daphne's. I just... needed some fresh air and ended up here."

"Well, get the fuck back," Ethan barked. " _Now._ "

Justin slowly looked back towards the kitchen door. "But - "

"Now," Ethan repeated, voice low. "I need you."

Justin immediately remembered when he had told Brian the same thing, barely holding back a sob. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he answered: "Okay, I'll be there in like twenty minutes." Without giving him time to answer - which he would probably pay for later - Justin ended the call and leaned back against the wall.

Minutes later, Daphne was at his side. "Is everything okay? Who was that?"

Justin pushed back the overwhelming urge to tell Daphne everything and faked a smile; something he realized he'd been doing way too much lately. He could hardly remember the last time he had genuinely smiled or genuinely felt happy. Or even just safe. "I'm fine. That was Ethan checking up on me." It wasn't a total lie, at least. "I should be getting back."

Daphne chewed on her lip. "Are you sure? You can stay the night if you want."

That sounded amazing, it really did, but his mouth betrayed him before he could even consider saying yes: "no thanks."

Daphne faltered, looking disappointed.

"Maybe later," he quickly added, pulling her in for a hug. "Love you, Daph."

She hugged him back, holding him. "I love you too, Jus."

******

When he arrived at Ethan's apartment and opened the door, he quickly noticed his painting of Brian had been shredded. As much as the the realization pained him, he wasn't surprised. Breathing in sharply, he went straight for the bed, making a point of acting like he was completely unaffected by his painting being ruined. Ethan would not get a reaction out of him for something so childish.

Ethan sat on the bed, obviously waiting for him. Justin slowly crawled onto the bed, almost jerking away when Ethan wrapped his arms around him, resting his forehead against the back of his neck. But he didn't; it was late and the last thing he wanted was a fight.

"I'm sorry about the painting."

Justin closed his eyes. He couldn't even say it was okay - not this time.

Ethan hugged him closer. "I love you, Justin."

Opening his eyes, he stared at the door and wished he was stronger, less of a stubborn idiot. If he was, he could run out and never come back. If he was, he wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. He never would've left Brian. He had his faults, sure, but as it was Brian was the only person Justin had ever loved, could ever love.  

******

Daphne lingered outside the loft door, unsure if she was doing the right thing or not. Finally she lifted her right hand, curled in a fist, and knocked.

Minutes later, the door was opening. "I told you - " When Brian's eyes stopped on her, he paused, lifting an eyebrow. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

She gulped back any reservations she had about doing this and took the plunge: "I need your help."


	3. Chapter 3

Daphne was a little relieved when Brian stepped aside, gesturing for her to come in. Truthfully, she hadn't even considered what she would do if he turned her away immediately. Walking in, she found herself remembering all the previous times she had been in the loft; like the first time when Justin had simply shown her around or that time when she helped Brian and Justin reenact the prom. 

Her heart ached at that memory and she quickly pushed it out of her mind.

Brian walked to the kitchen and got two beers out, holding one out for her. 

Daphne hesitated briefly before finally taking the offered beer. It was only noon but she knew how antsy Brian could be (all thanks to Justin) and didn't want to get thrown out before they even talked by being a prude; something she knew Brian wasn't fond of.

Opening the beer, she took a swig. 

"You better not be wasting my time," Brian said once she was finished, circling the counter and heading for the couch. Daphne stayed still for a few seconds, unsure if she should follow or not. When he glanced back at her, she got her answer and scurried after him. He plopped on the couch and she sat at the other end. "Now what do you 'need help' with?"

Daphne chewed on her bottom lip nervously. She knew if she told Brian what she truly thought was happening with Justin, Justin might never forgive her. She would be betraying his trust and even more worryingly she wasn't even sure her gut feeling was right but she knew she couldn't ignore how he had looked the other day. His safety was most important. 

Ignoring all her fears, she went for it: "I think Justin is in trouble."

She watched Brian closely, waiting for his reaction.

Brian stretched out, his legs propping up on the table and his head leaning back against the top of the couch. Daphne continued watching, feeling more impatient by the second. Why wasn't he saying anything? After a beat, Brian finally turned his head and looked at her. "I know."

She blinked. Once, twice. "What?" She was roaring. "You knew? And you didn't do anything?"

Brian laughed dryly. "What the fuck could've I have done? It's not like I'm anything to Justin now." Daphne didn't reply, realizing he had a point. "I can't just stick my nose in his business when it's just that - _his_ business."

"But he still cares about you," Daphne muttered.

She saw the way Brian's eyes flickered with emotions she knew he would never express outwardly; sadness, anger, regret. Her heart hurt for him. Justin had told her many times before that Brian never expressed how he felt on the outside but if you looked - just really looked - you could see it all in his eyes and she was finally realizing he was right. 

"I can't help you," Brian said eventually, standing up. "Sorry."

Daphne quickly jumped up after him, grabbing his arm. "You have to, Brian! Justin is smart, brave, but he can also be way too nice for his own good. Ethan is totally fucking with his head - "

She felt Brian go stiff under her grip, surprising her enough she paused.

Brian breathed out sharply. "So it really is him?"

"Him?" Daphne realized Brian knew some of the story, not all of it. "Yeah, it is."

Brian scoffed. "I fucking knew that little fiddler rat - " He stopped mid-rant. She was pretty sure she saw just a splash of embarrassment behind his otherwise hard eyes. Clearing his throat, he shrugged his arm free. "That doesn't change shit."

"Maybe not," Daphne shrugged, "but it does mean you still care about him too."

She watched him, his jaw clenching at her comment. "What do you want me to do?"

Shrugging again, Daphne walked over to the kitchen and placed her beer, almost full, on the counter. Turning towards him, she said: "I'm not asking for miracles here, Brian. As much as I think you two fuckers are meant to be, I know the world is a cruel place and things don't always work out right. All I'm asking is you talk to him." She paused, admittedly a little amused by how caught off guard Brian looked. "Can you do that?"

He narrowed his eyes. "And what do you want me to say? Sunshine, I know you're being kicked around by that was suppose-to-be perfect boyfriend of yours and I know I'm technically nothing to you right now but I think it'd be best if you left him." Brian folded his arms. "Oh, and even better what will he think if I indulge the information his cute little friend told me all this?"

Daphne stood her ground, ignoring the twinge in her heart. She didn't know Brian as well as Justin but she had been told enough by him to know Brian was trying - and failing - to get a reaction out of her simply because he was just as fucking terrified as she was and didn't know how to show it nevertheless wanted to admit he was capable of feeling terrified at all. "I don't care what you tell him," she said. "Just help him, Brian."

Then she saw the switch in his eyes and knew she had him. 

"I'll try," he said, jutting his chin out with a quiet huff. "But don't expect it'll help."

Smiling, she rushed over and grabbed him up in a hug before he could reject her. The hug lasted a full two seconds before Brian gently pushed her away. He lifted an eyebrow, obviously amused. "Now get out, I got company coming over."

Suddenly feeling a little embarrassed, Daphne stepped back. "Right. Bye."

When she reached the door and opened it, she was surprised by Brian talking again: "Daphne?" She glanced back over her shoulder, feeling oddly accomplished when she saw Brian's lips barely turned up at the sides. "Justin is lucky to have you as a friend."

Her smile widened. "Funny I was just thinking Justin is lucky to have you."

Without waiting for a reply, she rushed out the door.

******

When Justin woke up, the first thing he did was groggily look at the clock. It was still early, which he was happy for considering his headache from last night was back with vengeance. Groaning, he turned over, expecting Ethan to be there. As it was, he rarely left unless he absolutely had something he couldn't skip after-all. Justin knew he just liked keeping an eye on him when he could.

But he wasn't; the bed was empty. 

Slowly sitting up, he grabbed his phone and dialed Ethan's number.

After a few rings, he got his voicemail telling him to leave a message. He didn't. Shrugging, he tossed his phone aside and climbed out of bed, grimacing at the sunlight pouring through the windows. He shielded his eyes with his hand and walked over to the coffeemaker. Most mornings he waited until the last minute to get out of bed because it meant having the least interaction with Ethan before he had to leave for work but with him gone he could maybe actually enjoy the morning.

And he did. 

He sat on the bed and drank his coffee, sketching lazily. It wasn't until he was getting ready for his shift at the diner that Ethan returned home with a few grocery bags. Justin wanted to ignore him; his morning was going so well and he didn't want anything - or anyone - bringing him down but he also knew if he didn't humor Ethan with a greeting he would probably be angry. Pulling his shirt on, he turned and smiled.

"Hey, I didn't expect you to be gone this morning."

Ethan placed the bags on the table, eyeing him. "I didn't know you worked noon today."

Justin immediately felt his good mood diminishing. "I told you," he replied softly. 

"Sure," Ethan turned away from him, emptying the bags. 

Justin sighed, brushing Ethan off for now. Grabbing his bag from the corner of the room, he crouched down and began his search for a new pair of socks when he heard the familiar ring of his phone. He patted his pockets - nothing. 

He quickly stood up and turned on his heels, his stomach dropping when he realized his suspicion had been right. He had left his phone on the counter next to the coffeemaker by accident. He wanted to run over there and grab it up but if he did that Ethan would label him guilty even if he wasn't.

He watched nervously as Ethan picked his phone up and glanced at him.

"Blocked number," Ethan said, and Justin could see he was displeased with that.

Justin truthfully had no idea who would be calling him with a blocked number but as if Ethan would believe him. He nodded slightly. Don't act guilty, that was the most important thing. "You can - "

But before he even got the words out, Ethan had the phone up against his ear.

Justin strained but he simply couldn't hear the other person and so he stuck with waiting, hoping desperately it was no big deal, maybe just a wrong number, and he could leave the apartment feeling still mildly happy.

"Fuck," Justin hadn't heard Ethan sound that angry in a long time, "off."

Then he pulled the phone down from his ear. Justin gulped. "Who was it?"

Ethan tossed him his phone. "Nobody. Hurry up or you'll be late."

Deciding it was best not to push it, Justin shoved his phone in his bag and slipped out the door. 

******

"Your face is finally looking better today," Debbie said after they'd been working for a few hours, glancing over at him. "Guess you haven't had any more falls out of bed," she added, the disbelief behind her voice evident. 

Justin smiled slightly. "Yeah, guess not."

He barely noticed her shaking her head sadly as she turned and walked away.

His smile disappeared instantly. Justin couldn't remember the last time he had felt so guilty. He was starting to think keeping secrets from all the people he cared about and worrying them was worst than any pain Ethan could cause him. Sighing, he went over to clean off one of the tables when he heard the door ring. 

He watched out of the corner of his eye as the group - Brian, Michael, Emmett, Ted, and this time Ben - sat at one of the tables. Justin sucked his bottom lip in, gnawing at the chapped skin. He hoped they'd - more accurately Brian - would leave him be. He couldn't deal with more guilt right now but he knew chances were if he was called over he'd end up having to lie about at least one more thing.

Fate wasn't on his side, he decided, as he heard Brian: "Busboy?"

Sighing, he turned around and walked over to the table, slapping on a big fake smile. "Yes?"

He was a little surprised to see Brian watching him so openly - sure, he usually did but he was never so obvious about it. Leaning back in the booth, Brian cleared his throat and kept his eyes perfectly trained on Justin. "You no longer have ownership over your own phone?"

Justin blinked then finally his words settled and he felt like puking. He stammered over his words, knowing he wasn't acting nearly as nonchalant as he wanted: "I do, I just - I was busy earlier." He paused. "That was really you?"

Brian barely gave a shrug, looking over the menu though Justin knew he already had the stupid thing memorized. He chewed on his lip thoughtfully, really considering what this meant then he felt it; a little spark of happiness he hadn't felt in a long time. 

But before he could say more, Michael was talking to Brian about something trivial. 

Justin was almost sure Michael had done it on purpose, just to interrupt the moment. Pursing his lips, he turned towards Emmett and Ted and asked what they wanted to drink. When he was finished, he turned to walk away. 

But then he felt a hand, gentle yet firm, around his wrist. His heart jumped. 

Just that small touch made him feel like he was walking on clouds again. 

"Justin," Justin turned towards Brian, his heart still hammering. "Coffee for me."

Then his mood faltered just like that. As usual, he had gotten caught up in expecting too much from Brian. Nodding meekly, he watched sadly as Brian released his hand and scurried to get the drinks.

When he was gone, Emmett promptly glared at Brian. "What was that?"

Brian lifted an eyebrow. "What - me ordering? You see, you do that when you're in a - "

Emmett kicked him under the table - same place he had a couple days ago. Brian winced slightly; soon enough that spot on his leg would be bruised up. "You got his poor hopes up," Emmett started heatedly. "Did you see his face? He thought - "

"Stop," Brian interrupted. "I know what I'm doing."

Emmett narrowed his eyes. "Really? And what is that?"

"Not your business," Brian replied. "But it doesn't include pushing my way in or forcing Justin to do anything. In case you didn't realize our Sunshine is a stubborn little ass. He needs to leave Ethan on his own."

Emmett paused for a long moment. "So it is Ethan?"

Brian breathed out sharply. Right, the others didn't _technically_ know that yet. "Don't mention it," he warned, his eyes moving from Emmett to Ted to Michael and even Ben. "Just let me handle this." 

If there was one thing he rarely heard from Brian, it was that. Emmett smiled. "I'm just glad you're putting a foot forward," he said after a beat, wanting to hug the man sitting across from him but knowing better. "Because if there's one person who knows what Justin needs, it's you. Even if you don't always realize it or want to admit it."

Brian didn't say a word, looking away as Justin came back with their drinks.

******

Justin got away with no more questions or inquiries the rest of the day. When his shift ended, he hugged Debbie goodbye and hurried out the door. The night was surprisingly not too cold - not like the last few nights at least - and he got joy out of being able to slowly walk back to Ethan's, putting off the inevitable of having to see him, never fully knowing what his mood would be.

When he reached the apartment complex, he lingered outside for a bit and smoked a cigarette. Then he saw a familiar mess of big brown curls approaching him and he smiled big. "Daphne?"

She grinned back at him. "Hey," she quickly snatched his cigarette from him, taking a drag before handing it back. "I thought I would stop by and... check on you," she admitted softly. "I mean, you didn't seem too great last night and I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She paused, searching his face. "You are okay, right?"

Justin didn't speak at first, reaching out and pulling her in for an unexpected hug. 

She laughed. "I didn't think you missed me that much," she teased.

Finally he pulled back, nodding despite what his mind was telling him; just let her know you're not okay, she can help you. He dropped the cigarette on the concrete, stubbing it out. "I'm fine, Daph, I was just a little messed up last night."

She scrunched her nose up. She didn't believe a word of it. "Well, just be safe, okay?"

He nodded again, squeezing her shoulder. "Thanks."

"I better get going then," she kissed his cheek. "Call me if you need anything."

******

That night was the worst Justin had experienced thus far. He nearly didn't get outside he was so dizzy; his head was thumping and he had a loud rushing in his ears. He limped to the side of the building, pulling out his phone as he sat on the ground.

He opened his contacts, scrolled down and stared, his eyes watering. 

_Brian._  Even now, even after everything he hadn't deleted his number. He always knew if Ethan ever saw it he would be angry but thankfully, bad as he was, he rarely checked his phone. 

Licking his lips, Justin pressed call and put the phone against his ear.

He barely heard the click when Brian answered, sounding tired: "What is it?"

Justin stared at the concrete wall across from him. 

When Brian spoke again, he sounded more aware: "Justin, is this you?"

Gripping the phone tightly, he slowly lowered his hand. 

"Justin," he could still hear Brian's voice but barely. "What the fuck is - "

Justin quickly hit the end button, choking back a sob. He sat there for a long moment before finally he lifted the phone up again, dialing a different number. He placed the phone against his ear, waiting. 

Then after a few minutes, he heard her: "Hey, what's up?"

Sniffling, Justin pulled his knees up against his chest. "Daphne, can you come get me?"

******

Daphne felt pure anger when she saw Justin; pure, unmistakable anger. She hadn't seen him that messed up in a long, long time; his face was splattered with bruises, old and new, purple and red, and from where his shirt hung loosely from one shoulder she could see the same bruises marking the skin there. 

She took him in her arms. "Did he do this?"

Justin buried his face in the crook of her neck. He didn't answer - he didn't need to.

When she pulled back and glanced at the door, Justin grabbed her hand, his eyes desperate and pleading. "Daph, don't... Just don't, okay? Not right now. I want to go." He gently tugged her hand. "Get me out of here, please." 

Her heart ached for him as she squeezed his hand. "Okay."

******

When they arrived at her apartment, Daphne was relieved to find her roommate wasn't there. She walked Justin over to the couch, helping him sit before going off to get him some soup. In the car, she had found out he hadn't had dinner yet, not that she was surprised seeing as Ethan was too busy beating the shit out of him.

Coming back, she handed him the bowl and sat down in one of the chairs.

Justin smiled slightly, stirring the soup with his spoon. He wasn't really hungry but he was thankful for the gesture. 

"What happened?" Daphne asked finally.

Justin swallowed back the nervous lump in his throat. "I did something stupid."

"I don't care what you did," Daphne was heated. "It still doesn't make what he did acceptable, Justin, not at all."

He closed his eyes. "I said Brian's name."

Daphne licked her lips, waiting for more but he didn't elaborate. "All this over just saying his name?"

Justin opened his eyes. "During sex."

Her face hardened. Getting up from her spot, she walked over and rubbed his back comfortingly. "I'm going to go take a shower. You can take one after me if you want." She went over to a small closet and pulled out a couple blankets, gently tossing them on the couch. "If not, that's totally okay too. Just make sure you get some rest."

Justin nodded weakly as she left the room, rushing for the bathroom.

When she got inside, she closed the door and quickly pulled out her phone.

She dialed a number she was surprised she knew by heart but she assumed adrenaline did that, made you remember things you wouldn't normally. After a few rings, she heard a click and then his voice: "Who is this?"

He sounded irked but she didn't care - not right now. "Brian? It's Daphne."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will finally have Brian and Ethan interacting. Oooo~


	4. Chapter 4

About twenty minutes later, Justin heard a knock at the door. Slowly he moved the bowl of soup - which he had still barely touched - off his lap and stood up. He glanced at the bathroom. "Daph?"

Not even five seconds later, she was tumbling out of the bathroom. "I'll get it! Just sit down."

Justin hesitated before finally sitting back down. It could be her roommate but surely he would have a key of his own. Chewing on his lip, he kept his eyes glued on the entry, waiting impatiently for the questions buzzing in his mind to be answered.

******

Daphne shushed Brian as soon as he walked through the door. "He doesn't know you're here," she admitted. "I didn't know if I should tell him or just... let you surprise him." She folded her arms, sighing. "I was scared he might run off if I told him."

Brian just looked at her for a long moment, searching her face. "You didn't tell me much on the phone," he finally said, sounding mostly curious, even a little annoyed, but she knew it was just a cover for how he was truly feeling and that behind it all he was just as worried as her if not more.

But he wasn't wrong; she had simply stated it was an emergency, not really wanting to explain things over the phone. Licking her lips, she thought her next words over very carefully: "You know how Justin has been a little bruised up lately?"

Brian lifted one eyebrow in the way Daphne had seen him do so often recently.

She breathed in. "Well, that isn't anything compared to right now."

Then she saw it; the way his shoulders tensed up and his jaw clenched but most of all she noticed the complete change in his eyes. His eyes went completely dark - if she didn't know, she'd say they were suddenly black.

She swallowed back the lump in her throat, speaking softly: "Brian?" He didn't say a word before disappearing inside the other room. Daphne stood still for a short few seconds, quietly hoping for the best before finally joining him.

The first thing she heard - and saw - when she entered the room was Justin jumping up so fast his soup spilled out of his lap, the bowl clattering around on the floor before stopping by her feet.

"Why are you here?" Justin took his eyes off Brian, focusing on Daphne. "You called him?"

She cleared her throat. "I thought he could help - "

"Help?" Justin yelled, huffing. "If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be in this mess. He - " He briefly glanced at Brian again, and Daphne saw the hurt in his eyes but more importantly the guilt. She knew he was just looking for someone, something, to blame for all this and Brian was the easiest target. He sniffled. "You could've stopped me from leaving," Justin mumbled, burying his face in his hands. "You could've... told me I was being an idiot. You could've - "

Daphne watched as Brian gently took Justin in his arms, cutting him off. She continued watching as Brian ran his fingers through Justin's hair softly and Justin, like butter, melted against him so naturally like he hadn't been away for him for over a day nevertheless longer. Justin slowly buried his face in Brian's shoulder now, no longer ashamed of openly sobbing.

Stepping up, Daphne joined the two men and began rubbing Justin's back as she - and Brian - let him cry, knowing he needed it.

It felt like hours before he finally calmed down, no longer shaking or trembling or letting out choked sobs. Daphne sat in one of the chairs as Brian gently sat with Justin on the couch. She bit her lip. "Justin?"

He tiredly look up, still pressed firmly up against Brian's side. "Mmm?"

She wanted to just let him rest but at the same time they needed to figure things out. She quickly glanced at Brian, who wasn't even looking at her but Justin, that same warmness back in his eyes again. She smiled a little.

"Justin," she repeated, focusing back on him, "do you wanna stay here tonight or - "

She saw the way Justin moved closer to Brian and she was pretty sure it wasn't even intentional, just his subconscious answering for him, wanting to be as close to him as possible. She was relieved when Brian spoke this time, running his fingers down Justin's back soothingly: "I'll take him for now."

Daphne nodded. "We will have to talk about this eventually," she reminded him softly.

Justin held back a sob, not wanting to go there again when he had just calmed down. He just wanted things to be normal again, like they were before this all happened. He never wanted to see Ethan again even just for a second. He wanted to be with Brian for now and forever, no matter his faults or imperfections.

"I know," Brian mumbled, standing up with Justin still in his arms. "Tomorrow."

Daphne smiled. "Tomorrow."

******

Brian didn't know what he should be doing or saying. He knew he was being irrational but it felt like prom night all over again; Justin was hurt and he hadn't stopped it, hadn't been able to protect him. He knew, he'd been aware and he still let it happen. He thought he had things figured out but now as he tucked Justin into his bed he knew he had never been more wrong.

Standing up, he brushed his hand through Justin's hair and turned away. Before he could go too far, Justin grabbed his wrist, holding him in place. Slowly Brian turned, looking down at him. "Yeah?"

Justin stared up at him, squeezing his wrist. "Where are you going?"

Brian licked his lips: "The couch."

He watched, a little amused, as Justin made a face and pulled on his wrist. "Sleep with me, you big idiot."

Brian desperately tried hiding his smile as he circled the bed but he was pretty sure Justin had noticed from the way he was looking at him when he settled under the blanket. "Sunshine," He cleared his throat. "I'm not good at this shit, you should know that better than most but - "

Before he could finish, he was cut off by Justin's lips on his own, his hands going up and tangling in his hair. A thought entered his mind he would never, ever admit to Justin or any person with a pulse: He had fucking missed this.

But by the way Justin deepened the kiss Brian was pretty sure he knew he had missed him too. When Justin pulled way, Brian let out a tiny growl, not wanting things to be over yet but then when he saw Justin's face his mood faltered a bit.

He was relieved when Justin smiled suddenly, cupping Brian's face. "Apologizing isn't your thing." Brian almost snorted; he really did know him. Smile widening a bit, Justin pulled him in for a second kiss but stopped just before their lips touched. "Besides I don't want to hear you're sorry," he breathed, nudging his nose against Brian's cheek, "I want you to show me."

Brian did no job of hiding his smile this time: "with pleasure."

******

When Brian woke up the next day, he gently climbed out of bed and called Daphne, keeping his eyes on Justin the entire time. Even with the bruises on his face and upper body, he still looked just as gorgeous as ever.

Brian was pulled out of his thoughts when Daphne finally picked up: "Hey, how is he?"

"He's..." Brian readjusted the phone, resting the device between his ear and shoulder as he began making some toast. Normally he would just drink juice for breakfast but he knew Justin needed something a little more substantial after the events of last night. "He's okay," he finished. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm worried he used sex last night as a distraction. He really doesn't want to deal with Ethan."

Daphne breathed out. "Who can blame him? But we can't just ignore the problem... can we?"

Brian snickered quietly at how quickly her confidence slipped away. "No," Brian admitted after a minute, "I mean, it isn't like the twat deserves a proper breakup, he lost that right the second he hit Justin, but at the very least Justin needs his stuff."

"So," Daphne hesitated. "Who should get it? His stuff? I can after work today, if you - "

Brian side-eyed the sleeping form still in his bed: "That won't be necessary. I'll do it."

There was a long pause. "Are you sure?" Daphne asked finally. "I'm not that's a good idea."

Brian didn't reply right away, preparing two plates - one for him and the other for Justin - with toast and some fruit he grabbed from his fridge. "I'm a little insulted, Daphne," he feigned being hurt, "I'm pretty sure I can handle the big bad fiddler."

He listened as she laughed a bit. "I'm sure you can," she assured him. "I'm more worried about you... doing something stupid." She paused, not sure if she was in the right to be saying that or not. When he didn't yell at her, she continued: "I know you're angry at him, so am I, but you can't just... do something you'll regret, you've gotta consider, you know, the law for one thing, but also Justin needs you. Just promise you won't do anything stupid, okay?"

Brian glanced at Justin. "I won't. Promise."

"Good," Daphne sighed. "I gotta go now. Call me later to tell me how things went. Bye."

After she ended the call, Brian tossed his phone on the couch as he went by with the two plates. He sat at the end of the bed, balancing the plates, and gently nudged Justin with his foot. He groaned, moving slightly under the blanket, and Brian rolled his eyes, nudging him again. "Do you want breakfast or not?"

He should've known that would make Justin get up. Sitting up, Justin stared at him then the two plates suspiciously. "Brian Kinney made breakfast in bed?" Then he grinned, taking the plate with two pieces of toast. "Thanks."

Brian nudged him again. "Just don't expect this to be a regular thing," he grumbled.

Justin nodded, laughing softly. "Right."

******

About an hour later, Brian pulled Justin up off the bed: "Shower."

Justin groaned - "I don't want to" - but followed as Brian pulled him inside the bathroom.

Turning the water on, Brian walked back over and helped him slowly undress. "After this, I've gotta go get a few things." He wasn't sure telling Justin the truth - that he was going to give Ethan a little visit - would be the best idea right now. "Will you be fine?"

Justin helped Brian take his shirt off, smiling a little. "I'm fine, Brian."

Brian nodded slightly, pushing him towards the shower but the second Justin turned Brian stopped him. He swallowed, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice as he gently ran his hand down Justin's back: "What the fuck is this?"

He felt Justin go stiff under his hand. "You didn't notice it last night?"

"I most certainly did not," Brian barked. "Did Ethan do this?"

The pale skin of Justin's back was covered in a bruise so large Brian tried reasoning what could've even caused it. Justin didn't reply at first and stepped inside the shower, a little relieved when Brian still joined him.

"He pushed me," Justin said finally as Brian began washing his hair. "My back hit the dresser. I knew it probably bruised but... I didn't bother looking at how bad." He closed his eyes, focusing on Brian's fingers in his hair. "I guess it's pretty bad, huh?"

Justin felt Brian's hands move down, stopping at the middle of his back. "Yeah."

He quickly turned around, smiling warmly. "I'm fine, really," he pulled Brian over and hugged him, keeping him close as the water slowly rinsed the shampoo out of his hair. Resting his chin on Brian's shoulder, he whispered: "Thank you for worrying though."

******

Brian slipped out a few hours later, telling Justin he'd be back soon.

When he arrived at Ethan's apartment, he instantly felt a fury of emotions; anger, regret, rage. He thought back on what Daphne had said - she had a point after-all - and tried pushing all the anger out of his mind for now.

He needed to focus on the most important thing right now; making sure Justin wouldn't need to see Ethan again for a long, long time - if ever.

Knocking on the door, he waited.

Not even three minutes later, the door opened: "Justin, where the fuck - "

Brian wasn't surprised Ethan shut up almost immediately upon seeing him, staring at him with wide eyes. He debated how to do this; a part of him wanted to just shove his way inside the apartment and quickly collect Justin's things then be done with it but then he heard Daphne again, telling him not to do anything stupid.

Giving a smile that he knew wasn't convincing at all, Brian spoke: "I'm sure you must realize what this means. Justin is with me right now and - " he paused at this part, wondering if they really were but deciding it didn't matter right now, he just needed to get his point across to make sure Ethan never bothered Justin again " - we are working things out. I've come, as you can guess, to collect his things."

Ethan blinked, and Brian got a lot of joy about of how caught off guard he appeared.

Gesturing, Brian smiled that fake sweet smile again: "Can you excuse me then?"

He was admittedly a little relieved when Ethan stepped out of the way, letting him inside the apartment with no fight. Brian knew, of course, if Ethan did try again he would most likely come out on top but still it was nice not having the struggle.

Grabbing one of Justin's bags, he started collecting all of the things he recognized as belonging to Justin. He was almost finished when Ethan opened his big mouth and Brian paused where he was crouched down in the corner, Justin's favorite sketchbook hanging from his hand.

"Well, it's probably for the best, you know."

Brian stared down at the sketchbook, listening despite knowing he shouldn't.

"I mean Justin was proving to be a a real bitch - "

Brian didn't realize what he was doing until it was too late and his fist collided with Ethan's face, the sketchbook he'd been holding moments before forgotten on the floor. He watched as Ethan went stumbling, his back colliding with the dresser followed by a very loud crack. Brian's lips twitched up at the sides; karma was a cruel thing.

Any form of smile Brian might've had before disappeared instantly. "Don't you dare fucking disrespect him. You are lucky he let you get away with your shit as long as he did and you're even more lucky I want to be there for him right now or I'd be beating the shit out of you 'til all you saw was black and red. But - " Brian cleared his throat, leaning down and grabbing the sketchbook off the floor before straightening back up " - don't think for a second if you push me I won't go back on my words."

Stuffing Justin's sketchbook in the bag, he pulled it up on his shoulder. Without saying a word, he turned towards the door. He was almost out the door when he felt something small and long hit his back, the pain erupting through him in waves that for a split-second made him feel unstable on his feet.

He quickly turned, nostrils flaring: "You little shit."

Brian immediately noticed the small piece of wood in Ethan's hands, a part of him wondering why he even had that in his apartment in the first place but knowing that didn't matter he focused on the man holding it. He was pretty fucking satisfied when he saw the fear in Ethan's eyes as he realized what he'd done, dropping the wood on the ground and scattering back a few steps.

Completely dismissing all of Daphne's warnings, Brian let his instincts take over; fuck the law, fuck the consequences. Placing the bag on the floor, Brian did what he had wanted to do the second he saw Justin all bruised up; he beat the shit out of the fiddler.

Brian knew he wasn't the strongest but he worked out frequently - a lot more, he guessed, than Ethan - and he was pretty sure it showed as he threw a fist after fist, each colliding with different parts of Ethan; his face mostly.

He set a limit, knowing as angry as he was he still couldn't kill Ethan.

After ten punches, he pulled back, his knuckles throbbing and covered in small spots of blood. He watched as Ethan struggled, feeling for the wall and leaning against it once he found it. Brian was shocked when Ethan started yelling: "You asshole! I should call the cops on you and get you arrested - "

Brian leaned down and snatched Justin's bag up off the floor. "Do it," Brian said after a beat, his amusement evident. "I'd gladly tell them why I attacked you, you abusive little fucker. I go down, you go down."

Ethan didn't say anything, just snarled.

Huffing, Brian adjusted the bag on his shoulder and turned back around.

"Why are you doing this?" Ethan asked suddenly.

Brian lifted an eyebrow, pausing in the door.

"Justin said you didn't even love him!"

Smiling slightly, Brian briefly glanced at him. "Well, he can't always be right, can he?"

******

When Brian arrived back, he immediately spotted Justin on the couch with a stack of papers and pen, sketching his little heart away. Suddenly all the tension and anger he'd been feeling earlier just disappeared. Walking over, he placed Justin's bag at his feet.

Justin glanced up, eyes wide: "Where did you get this?"

Brian knew Justin might be angry with him but there was no going back now. Sighing, he sat on the edge of the couch. "I went to Ethan's." Just as he expected, Justin narrowed his eyes at him, looking betrayed. "Listen, you couldn't just leave your shit there and I didn't want you having to go back."

"But - " Justin gnawed on his lip. "I need to properly end things."

The anger was back now. Brian grabbed Justin's hand, squeezing. "No, you don't, Sunshine," he tried keeping his voice calm. "The fucker abused and took advantage of you. He doesn't deserve shit nevertheless a proper, pretty little breakup."

Justin softly squeezed Brian's hand back. "But I don't have anywhere to go, Brian."

"You're shitting me, right?"

Justin blinked, waiting because he knew Brian wasn't finished yet.

"You're staying here with me," Brian quickly added: "I mean, if you want to."

Justin grinned toothily. "Really?"

Brian pulled him closer by his hand. "If it's what you want."

"It is," Justin nudged Brian with his nose, "it really is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really sure how many chapters this was going to have at first but after this I'm pretty confident in saying it will probably have about 8-10 chapters. So don't worry, this isn't the end of Ethan just yet! But I hope you guys enjoyed and don't forget to follow me on tumblr if you want @ kinneyb.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I know it's been a week (+) since I updated last but inspiration comes and goes and that's just part of life sadly. But I finally finished chapter 5 and I hope you guys enjoy it! Sorry this chapter is a little short (words wise it's actually the same as the others but for some reason it feels/looks super short? hmm)! Just a few more to go~

Justin had forgotten how much he missed waking up in Brian's arms, legs tangled together, the faint smell of Brian's cologne from the previous day reaching his nose and making him almost giggle. Slowly he untangled his body from Brian's - what was that he had said before about not cuddling? - and got out of bed.

He decided he'd repay Brian for breakfast in bed the other day and started making some food; lots of bacon as that was Brian's favorite despite all his protests that it was 'insanely fattening'. When he was finished, he prepared two plates and walked back to the bed. He softly shook Brian out of his slumber, hiding a smile when he swatted at him tiredly.

"I made breakfast," Justin replied, making a point of not being too cheery - Brian hated cheeriness early in the morning or so he said but Justin wasn't convinced. He waited until Brian was sitting up before handing him his plate. "I know, I know," he sighed when Brian lifted an eyebrow at him, "but I just wanted to repay you for the other day... Is that a crime?"

Brian continued staring at him for a long moment before finally picking a piece of bacon off his plate, examining it: "No, but couldn't you have at least not overcooked the bacon?" Then he took a bite out of it, shrugging. "I guess it isn't terrible."

Justin bit his lip, resisting a smile as he settled at the foot of the bed and ate his own food.

******

Justin had a shift at the diner that evening and as much as Brian wasn't directly saying anything about it he knew he was worried. But he promptly told him he'd be fine, kissing him goodbye and reminding him he also had a job that he couldn't keep neglecting. Secretly, of course, Justin was a little moved that Brian was - at least in his own ways - being so honest about how he was feeling.

His shift was mostly uneventful until Michael and Ben walked in, both laughing.

Perking up slightly, Justin walked over. Sure, he wasn't on the best of terms with Michael but he still welcomed the familiar faces. Lifting the pitcher of water, he smiled: "Water?"

Ben, as always, politely smiled back and nodded. Justin still wondered how Michael had nabbed a guy like him but then again Michael probably wondered the same about him. Michael grunted a yes and Justin filled both cups up with water.

"So Justin," Ben started after a beat. "How are you?"

He sounded genuinely worried. Justin smiled a little bigger. "Surprisingly better."

Michael finally looked at him and immediately his face switched, now looking almost as worried as his partner. "Fuck," he mumbled, obviously taking notice of the fresh bruises on the boy's face. "I thought you said you were doing better?"

Justin was a little surprised Michael actually seemed worried. He brushed some of the longer strands of his hair behind his ear, shrugging. "I am, trust me, this - " he gestured at his face " - happened before."

He didn't give details. He knew they'd probably been informed - or at least had guessed at some point - of his situation but still Justin preferred if as little was shared around as possible. As it was, he just wanted to forget everything and having people fuss over him would just remind him of it all.

Michael nodded slowly: "So you're away from..." He paused, thinking carefully before finally deciding on his words "what was causing that?" He mimicked Justin from earlier, gesturing at his face.

Justin smiled brightly. "Yeah, I am."

When Debbie walked over and began talking to Michael and Ben, Justin slipped away undetected. He walked behind the counter and grabbed his bag, rummaging for the medicine he had made a point of packing earlier. Mentally he might be doing better but physically he was still in a lot of pain and discomfort.

Finding the bottle, he shook out a couple pills and swallowed both.

He shoved the bottle back in his bag just as the door rang, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Grabbing the pitcher of water, he turned and noticed Michael staring at him, his face unreadable for the most part. Ben was also looking at him. Confused, he glanced at the door and his heart sunk almost immediately.

Justin hadn't even considered Ethan might look for him. He knew it had been a possibility, of course, but he had simply pushed the thought out of his mind each time it surfaced. Placing the pitcher carefully back on the counter, he watched as Ethan approached him, smiling.

His stomach churned. How could he smile at him like that after all he'd done?

"Baby - "

Justin breathed out sharply: "don't call me that."

He saw the flash of anger in Ethan's eyes but he didn't outwardly show it, that fake smile still plastered on his face. Justin hoped he would at least have the decency of not lashing out at him in front of dozens of witnesses but also he knew Ethan - he knew there was no stopping him once he got really angry.

"Come on," Ethan continued, sounding a little more impatient now. "We need to talk."

Justin licked his lips, remembering what Brian had told him; Ethan didn't deserve shit. Standing a little taller, he firmly shook his head no: "I'm sorry, Ethan, but we really don't. I left you and you know exactly why. You should be happy to know I'm not planning on pressing charges, I just want to be left alone. That's all. Got it?"

Apparently Justin had hit Ethan's breaking point. Snatching Justin up by the front of his shirt, Ethan nearly yanked him across the counter but instead settled for being nose-to-nose with him. Justin was so shocked he couldn't even react right away, simply stared for a few seconds as Ethan snarled in his face: "You little ungrateful - "

He was even more surprised when Ethan was pulled away from him. The second he was free, he stepped back out of reach and watched as Michael shoved Ethan towards the door. Ethan didn't seem too intimidated by Michael - Justin couldn't exactly blame him there - but when Ben joined his side Ethan's demeanor quickly changed and he slipped out the door.

Slowly Justin looked at Michael. Surprised would be an understatement.

Michael looked back at him. "Ma would be pissed if a fight broke out in the diner."

Nodding slightly, Justin stifled a smile: "Right. Well, thanks - both of you."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ben asked softly. "Maybe you should go home for now."

Justin briefly glanced towards the kitchen. "I can't just - "

Then he was surprised for a second time. Michael put on the best air of confidence he could and pointed at the door. "I'll handle Ma," he said. "You just go home and rest up, okay? I don't think any of us understand what you're going through right now and I'm sure it must be tiring."

Justin felt his heart do a little jump. Michael cared about him. He still loved - and always would - Brian more and would always put him first but this was unexpected progress. Grabbing his bag, he circled the counter and before Michael could protest Justin hugged him. Squeezing nice and tight, he whispered: "thanks."

When he pulled back, he was a little amused by how embarrassed Michael looked. If he didn't know better, he'd even say he was blushing. "Don't thank me," Michael quickly replied, flustered, "I only did what I did because if I hadn't and Brian had found out he'd have my balls."

Justin pursed his lips. He had a point. "Well, thanks. I'll see you guys later."

******

Justin was surprised when he arrived at the loft and Brian was there at his computer typing away. Usually Brian worked later on Fridays but he wasn't complaining - he enjoyed being able to see Brian so much and as it was he had also gotten off early. Shrugging his jacket off, he walked over and lingered by Brian's desk. "Hey."

Brian looked up at him curiously. "I thought you worked afternoon today."

He remembered hearing similar words from Ethan but Brian didn't sound nearly as angry as Ethan had, mostly just curious. Smiling a little, he decided he would skip the drama: "I wasn't feeling good."

Brian nodded. Content, Justin strolled into the kitchen for a drink. Seconds later, he heard Brian get up and follow him, grabbing a beer while he slowly poured some juice. He knew he was fucked before Brian even opened his mouth, just something about the shift in the air.

"Michael called before you got here."

Sighing, Justin closed the juice and put it back in the fridge: "It isn't a big deal, Brian."

Justin saw Brian out of the corner of his eyes do that little huff he does when he's frustrated. Then running his fingers through his hair roughly, he leaned against the bar. "It is a big deal," he said finally, keeping the frustration out of his voice, "I told him to leave you the fuck alone and then he shows up at your work. Now he isn't just an abusive little shit, he's an abusive little stalking shit."

Smiling a bit, Justin grabbed his glass and joined Brian, nudging him with his elbow. "You know, as much as I find you being protective _incredibly_ adorable - " his smile widened when Brian promptly glared at him " - you don't have to worry about me."

He felt Brian move a little, pressing up against him. Justin wasn't even sure he realized he did it. "I know you can take care of yourself," Brian breathed, taking a swig from his beer. "I just... don't want to test how far Ethan is willing to go to get you back."

Justin knew Brian was five seconds away from shoving his way out the door and looking for a distraction. Drugs, maybe, or a random trick. Softly he took Brian's beer from him, placing the bottle on the bar. Or him. Slipping his arms around Brian's neck, he tugged him down and kissed him - soft at first before quickly developing into a sloppy, hungry kiss. When they pulled away for air, Justin rested his forehead against Brian's: "I love you."

"I know."

Justin smiled.

******

When Brian said he was going out later, Justin quickly joined him. A small part of him just didn't want to be alone in the loft for that long - usually Brian stayed out pretty late on Fridays - but he definitely wasn't about to let Brian know that when he was worried enough as is (even if he wouldn't admit it).

Babylon was, as always, crawling with people. They danced for a bit before Justin finally pulled away, patting Brian on the arm. "Go on," he encouraged him, eyeing the trick that'd been checking them - mostly Brian - out. "I know you want to."

For a few seconds, Brian just stared at him.

Squeezing his arm now, Justin laughed: "I'm fine with it, really. Have fun."

Then just like a bullet Brian was off. Smiling, Justin approached the bar and asked for a drink. He was relieved Brian was enjoying himself, with him or with a total stranger it didn't matter. As it was, tricking relaxed him and he was pretty stressed right now because of the entire situation. Taking his drink from the bartender, Justin took a gulp, feeling the alcohol burn his throat. All because of him, all because he had made a stupid mistake. In a way, he was lucky Brian had taken him back so easily.

He had all the right in the world to be angry, unforgiving.

But that wasn't Brian - no matter how many people argued differently.

"Justin?"

Perking up, Justin turned. He didn't know Ted too well - he never approached him nevertheless had a full conversation with him - but he wasn't arguing with the company; standing by the bar alone, unless you were searching for a fuck, could be boring. "Hey, what's up?"

"Do you know a guy with dark hair and a soul patch?"

Justin blinked a few times, hoping Ted was just fucking with him. But he was pretty sure Ted knew the least about his situation with Ethan - he wasn't even sure if he had even seen Ethan before. "Why?"

Ted shrugged: "Some guy out front was asking all the guys in line about a Justin Taylor." Then Justin was sure Ted wasn't fucking with him when he smiled slightly. "You have quite the reputation, huh?"

"Sure," Justin mumbled, searching the crowd for Brian. He couldn't see him. "Uh, I gotta go." He faked a smile. "See you later."

He headed towards the backroom, knowing exactly where Brian was likely to be. He wasn't disappointed when he entered the area, his eyes immediately finding Brian, a guy on his knees in front of him. Justin paused, not wanting to interrupt right then but when Brian spotted him he stepped up.

"Brian," he glanced briefly at the guy on the floor. "I'm gonna go back."

He watched as Brian slowly lifted an eyebrow, his breathing completely controlled despite his situation. "Why?" he asked, and before Justin could argue for him to go on and enjoy himself - like he was planning - Brian looked down at the guy sucking him off and nodded. "I'm done."

The guy looked confused but got up with no argument and left.

Justin watched quietly as Brian pulled his pants up. After he was settled, he threw an arm around Justin's shoulders and pulled him close. Justin could tell he had taken something from the way his words slurred: "Now why do you want to go when we just got here?"

"Ethan," Justin said. "Ted said he saw him out front."

Instantly Brian sobered, his eyes clearing up. "I - "

Justin cut him off: "Don't. I just want to go, okay?"

When Brian looked at him, he looked back unwavering. Finally Brian sighed. "Fine. Let's go."

******

When they arrived back at the loft, they quickly showered together then crawled in bed. Justin was hoping they wouldn't have to discuss things again until later but when Brian didn't relax right after they finished fucking Justin knew better. Sighing, he rested his head on Brian's shoulder, waiting for the inevitable.

He was - pleasantly - surprised when Brian slowly wrapped an arm around him: "I was thinking..." He paused, breathing out. "Maybe it would be best if we reported Ethan to the police." Justin tensed; that was so not like Brian he hadn't been expecting it. "I know you don't want to," Brian continued, rubbing his hand up and down Justin's side, "I didn't want to, but he isn't cooling down."

Justin knew he was right. Burying his face in the crook of Brian's neck, he nodded. "Okay." Then he remembered something. Pulling back, he looked up at Brian. "But you beat the shit out of him, is that okay?"

Brian shrugged. "Pretty sure I'll get off for self defense. He attacked me first, remember?"

"Right," Justin said, relieved. After a beat, he added: "I trust your judgment."

Flawed or not, Justin really did trust his judgment. Brian was smart - surprisingly smart, Justin was slowly learning. Leaning up, he kissed Brian's jaw; something he knew he loved. When Brian smiled one of the special smiles he reserved solely for him, he felt his heart flutter. "Good," Brian said softly, "I want you safe."

It wasn't 'I love you' but it was close enough and right now Justin was perfectly okay with that.


	6. Chapter 6

Justin didn't go with Brian to the police station the next day. He considered it but before he could fully decide Brian had made the decision for him. Usually Justin hated when he did that - he was his own man, he could make his own decisions - but for once he was actually relieved when Brian declared during breakfast: "You should stay here."

He didn't question his judgment. He wasn't just fanning his ego last night - he really did trust Brian. Nodding, Justin nudged him with his leg. "Thanks."

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Brian smile a little before shrugging.

******

After Brian left, Justin got out his supplies and started painting. He didn't have work that day (which for once he was sad about) and he desperately needed some form of distraction or he'd focus too much on what was happening at the police station. Did the police even care if a young gay man had been thrown around? Would they believe Brian? Was this a stupid idea he should've nixed when he had the chance? 

To be fair, Justin didn't even have proof of the abuse - all his bruises were nearly invisible now.

Huffing, he focused back on his painting. As per usual, he had started drawing Brian without realizing it. It seemed to be happening a lot lately - even more than usual. Smiling a bit, Justin slowly moved his brush, paying special detail to Brian's hair. He wasn't upset about it though: Brian made quite the muse. 

After a couple hours, Justin's hand started aching - it wasn't too bad yet and usually he'd push a little more but he decided it'd probably be best for now if he just stopped. He packed his paints away and plopped on the sofa, turning on the television.

He flipped through a few channels before stopping on some cheesy teen movie. Not exactly the most interesting but he decided it'd have to do. Getting up, he went to the kitchen and dug out the one bag of chips Brian had in his cabinets. He really was serious about this eating healthy thing, wasn't he? Though he poured five cups of his sugar in his coffee every morning. Laughing a little, Justin knew he'd never fully understand the way Brian's mind worked and maybe it was best that he didn't.

Taking the chips with him, he sat back on the sofa.

Two hours later, he was starting to get antsy, glancing at the door every five or ten seconds. It couldn't possibly take _that_ long to file a report. Blinking a few times, he forced his worries from his mind and focused back on the television.

Finally Justin heard footsteps outside the loft door and excitement (and a little bit relief) immediately rushed through him. Jumping up, he left the empty bag of chips forgotten on the sofa as he raced for the door.

As soon as he reached the door, he paused. The footsteps had stopped but now there was nothing; in particular there wasn't the familiar sound of Brian unlocking the door which - Justin checked - was definitely locked.

Brian had never - not once - forgotten his keys in the time Justin had known him but if by some whim he had why hadn't he called out for him yet and asked him to unlock the door? Justin slowly, quietly, leaned against the loft door, listening.

Nothing but he knew he hadn't heard the footsteps leaving yet. The person was still there.

Stepping back, Justin tried making as little noise as possible as he walked over and grabbed his phone from the bed. Slipping inside the restroom, he closed the door and quickly dialed one of the few numbers he knew by heart.

After a few seconds, Brian answered: "Justin? Is everything okay?"

Just hearing his voice made Justin feel safer. "Um, where are you?"

"Why?" Justin could tell Brian was trying to keep his voice steady, calm. "I stopped by the diner. Thought I could get us some food."

Justin stepped out of the restroom. "Are you expecting someone at the loft?" He swallowed, glancing at the door. "Like... Michael or Lindsay?"

"Why?" His voice was stern now, expecting answers and fast.

Shrugging, Justin went over to the sofa and slowly sat back down, keeping his eyes on the door the entire time. "I think I'm just being paranoid," he said after a moment. "Just hurry back, okay? I'm hungry."

"Don't open the door, got it? I'll be there in ten."

Justin smiled. He still got a little kick out of Brian being protective. "I won't."

Hanging up, he tossed his phone towards the other end of the sofa and continued watching the door. Slowly he pulled his legs up against his chest, resting his chin on his knees. He counted the seconds until -

"Justin?" Brian called out for him before he even had the door fully opened. Justin could see how relieved he was, his shoulders slumping instantly. "You okay?"

Justin patted his stomach that - as if on cue - grumbled. "I will be."

Snorting, Brian threw him the bag of food he'd grabbed from the diner; all of Justin's favorites and more. "Always food with you." Justin glanced inside the bag. Brian sucked at expressing how he felt vocally but he _always_ reminded Justin with little gestures just like this how much he cared about him; small things that might be ignored by your average person but not Justin. Gripping the bag, he looked up.

"Food, _and_ sex," he replied, grinning.

******

The next day, Justin called Debbie and politely asked if he could skip work for the day.

"What?" She didn't sound angry or irked, just worried. "Are you okay?"

Justin smiled slightly. "I'm fine, I'm just feeling a little... sick," he answered honestly. That morning it had taken a little over twenty minutes for Justin to convince Brian he'd be fine and he should go to work.

Brian had watched him closely, looking unsure. Like always, Justin was moved by how obviously worried he was acting but he really didn't see the point in Brian missing work if it wasn't necessary. He was the sick one, not him.

Hugging him, he had sloppily kissed Brian's cheek a few times, grinning when he pushed him back and wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. Nudging him after, Justin continued grinning. "Really, I'll be fine. It isn't like I don't have your number if something does go wrong." Brian lifted an eyebrow, and Justin quickly backtracked: "Not that anything will go wrong."

Brian snickered, resting his hand on the back of Justin's neck. "I know, I'm just fucking with you." Then he paused, and Justin saw the shift in the way he was looking at him. "But," he cleared his throat, "don't be afraid to call me."

Justin had a hard time not smiling at that. Kissing Brian on the lips, he nudged him towards the door. Brian snatched up his briefcase by the door and readjusted his jacket. If Justin didn't know better, he'd say he was lingering, buying time.

Rolling his eyes, Justin squeezed his arm. "Later."

Brian gave a half-smile and opened the loft door. "Later."

******

After Brian was gone, Justin checked that the loft door was firmly locked before going back to the sofa, grabbing his sketchbook before sitting down. He'd had enough of painting for now. Opening his sketchbook, he began sketching lazily.

He sketched a lot - Brian, Daphne, Gus (he hadn't seen him in a long time). After he got tired of sketching people, he started sketching random little things around the loft from the computer to the kitchen. When he finished his messy sketch of the kitchen, he couldn't help adding Brian to the picture as an afterthought; making a perfect copy of the way Brian had looked the first night Justin met him and he'd brought him back to the loft - predatory with water dripping from his hair and lust gleaming in his eyes.

Justin smiled, a small part of him wishing Brian was there. But he couldn't keep distracting him - he had his own stuff to do. Yawning, he tossed the sketchbook off the bed and touched his forehead tentatively. He knew Brian kept the loft at a comfortable temperature but he was burning up.

Getting comfortable, he buried his face in a pillow and started counting sheep. It was a cliche, sure, but it worked.

******

"Justin!"

Usually Justin was a heavy sleeper but hearing Brian's voice so worried and raspy made him wake up immediately. Sitting up in bed, he blinked a few times, focusing on the face in front of him, which was surprisingly close.

"Are you okay?" Brian really sounded worried. "Tell me you're okay."

Justin stared at him. "I'm okay."

He heard Brian let out a little relieved gasp or chuckle - more like a mix of the two - as he pulled him in for a hug, settling his hand on the back of his head and just holding him there. Justin slowly returned the hug. Something wasn't right; Brian wasn't acting normal.

Then he heard it: the alarm.

Pulling back, Justin glanced at the loft door; wide open, the alarm system going off at full volume still. He couldn't believe he hadn't heard it at first. Squeezing Brian's forearm, he looked back at him. "Why is the alarm going off?"

Brian pushed his tongue in his cheek. "When I got here, it was going off and the door was open. I don't know. I thought - " He cleared his throat, and Justin saw the spark of fear in his eyes. "I thought something happened to you."

Justin squeezed his arm again. "I'm fine."

"I know," Brian replied, and Justin watched him slowly putting his mask back on. "Do you know what made the alarm go off?"

"The door being forced open, I'm guessing."

Justin almost laughed when Brian glared at him. "This isn't funny."

He knew he was right. It really, really wasn't. "I was asleep, Brian... You know I'm - "

"A deep sleeper," Brian grumbled, yanking his fingers through his hair. Justin watched as he got off the bed, quickly following after him as he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass. Then paused and grabbed a second one, pouring whiskey in both. When he handed him one, Justin took it with no complaints or arguing. "Nothing seems to be missing," he said before taking the whiskey all at once, his throat burning at the harsh liquid. Not even two seconds later, he was pouring more in his glass.

Justin shook his head when Brian offered him more. "I guess I don't really need to say it."

Brian gave a half-hearted laugh, slamming his glass down in the sink.

"Brian?" Justin waited until Brian was looking at him again before continuing. "I'm scared."

With no words, Brian circled the counter and took Justin in his arms.

******

The next day they both visited Debbie. Michael was there, which Justin wasn't too happy with but he was her son and it wasn't like they'd been honest with why they were visiting. For all Debbie knew, they just wanted some of her famous meatloaf.

But then again she had always been pretty smart, observant.

After dinner was finished, she huffed. "Okay, boys, why'd you actually visit me?"

Justin paused, barely glancing at her. Brian reached under the table and squeezed his hand, surprising Justin a little. Ducking his head, he smiled. "We need to ask you something," Brian said after a moment.

Debbie lifted an eyebrow curiously. "What kind of 'something'?"

"Can Justin stay here for a few days?" Brian took the plunge as always. Justin admired that about him. If Debbie looked curious before, she was glowing with questions now. Brian side-eyed Justin.

Debbie pointed a finger at Brian: "What did you do this time, you asshole?"

Michael sat there, silent, surprisingly focused on Justin and not Brian for once.

"He didn't do anything," Justin replied. "I know you've noticed - " he gestured at nothing in particular, not entirely sure how he should approach this topic. "I've been having a hard time," he decided.

Michael snorted at that.

Debbie gently smacked the back of Michael's head before saying: "no shit." But there was a softness behind her voice as she continued: "It's that Ethan kid, isn't it?" Justin chewed on the inside of his cheek, nodding slightly. "I knew it," Debbie sighed, now wagging her finger at Justin, "but you should've told me regardless, Sunshine. I could've helped!"

Justin smiled. "I know. I was just... hoping things would be okay again after I left him," he leaned over slightly, nudging Brian with his shoulder, "and was living with Brian again but Ethan isn't exactly, uh, giving up easy."

"Correction: he's a creepy little shit," Brian said with his usual sarcasm. Justin elbowed him.

"But," Debbie folded her arms, "I don't see why that results in you wanting Justin to stay with me."

Brian leaned back in his chair. "We think Ethan was at the loft yesterday. When I got there, Justin was fine but the door was open and the alarm was going off. I reported it but with no proof we can't exactly point fingers."

He wasn't surprised when Debbie gasped and jumped up, circling the table and pulling Justin out of his chair in a hug, squeezing him tight. Justin laughed softly. "You poor baby," she said, finally pulling back. "If that little shit touches you again, I swear - "

Brian stood up, placing a hand on Justin's shoulder. Justin glanced at him, feeling oddly comforted - and maybe a little worried - at the expression on his face. He hadn't seen Brian look so pissed in a long, long time. "I won't let that happen."

"Well," Debbie huffed, patting Justin on the back. "You can stay here as long as you want, Sunshine, anything to keep you safe." Then she promptly turned and looked at Brian, narrowing her eyes. "What about you?"

He lifted an eyebrow; one of his signature looks. "What about me?"

Debbie sighed loudly. "I mean, are _you_ going to be safe back at the loft?"

Then just like that Justin was suddenly scared for entirely new reasons. Turning, he grasped Brian's arm and pulled slightly, waiting until Brian was looking at him before going off. "I didn't even think of that. What if he tries hurting you? Maybe it'd be best if you stayed away from the loft too - just for a few days."

Despite the situation, Brian was still Brian and Justin knew there was no way he was going to do that. The loft was his home, a place he cherished - he acted like it wasn't, said it was just some walls and a ceiling but Justin knew better. He loved that place. Justin was a little surprised when Brian leaned down, softly kissing his temple. "I'll be fine."

He nodded, returning the gesture by kissing Brian's jaw. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Brian softly ran his fingers through Justin's hair, settling his hand on the back of his neck. He glanced at Debbie. "I'll bring a couple bags of his stuff tomorrow. Not too much. I'm hoping this will be over before he needs much more."

She pursed her lips. "Are you sure you won't want to stay here too - just for the night?"

Brian rolled his eyes, and Justin gently pinched his arm, giving him a firm look. Debbie was just worried after-all, which was understandable. Squeezing the back of Justin's neck slightly, letting him know he got his message, Brian flashed a smile in her direction. "Thanks, Ma, but I'll be fine."

Before he left, Debbie gave him a big hug and Justin gave him a sloppy kiss.

"Be safe," Justin whispered. "I'll see you at the diner tomorrow?" It was a slight question.

Brian nudged Justin's cheek with his nose. "I'll stop by for lunch," he assured him.

******

During his shift the next day, Justin felt a lot like a zombie; doing what he knew he needed to do, saying what he knew was expected of him. In reality, he was waiting impatiently for lunch, desperately wanting to see Brian. He always liked seeing him, sure, but with recent events he no longer just liked seeing him - he craved it. The only time he truly felt safe, secure, was when Brian was there.

When the door jingled, he knew it was Brian before even looking. Turning on his heels, grinned happily. "Hey."

Brian lifted an eyebrow but there was that little twitch of a smile on his face. "Coffee?"

Justin nodded and turned back to the coffeemaker, grabbing a cup from the stack. Just feeling Brian in his presence was making all the stress slowly disperse. A moment later, he turned back towards Brian and gave him his cup, still grinning. Brian took the coffee, his own smile growing a little more obvious - now any person looking at him could see it, not just the people who knew him best.

"I'm guessing nothing happened last night?" Justin asked after a beat, leaning on the counter with his elbows.

Taking a gulp of his coffee, Brian crinkled his nose. "Bland."

Justin rolled his eyes and reached over, snatching up a few sugar packets. "Here."

Brian took the packets, pouring them all in his coffee one by one. As Justin always said, Brian didn't like a little sugar with his coffee - he liked a little coffee with his sugar. "You guessed right, by the way. Last night was dreadfully boring." Justin lifted an eyebrow, copying Brian from earlier. "Yes, I know, shocking, but I didn't really feel like tricking last night."

"God," Justin muttered, feeling Brian's forehead. "Did I get you sick?"

Brian swatted his hand away. "Do that one more time and I'll never fuck you again."

Justin grinned. "Please, as if you could last a day not touching my ass."

"Admittedly I miss the naive little twink I found under a lamppost," Brian teased. "He didn't talk back quite so much."

Justin shrugged. "Yeah, but I've learned from the best."

When Debbie walked up, she smiled and patted Justin on the arm. "Why don't you go with Brian? I'll finish up your shift."

"But," Justin glanced at her then Brian. "He's only out for lunch."

Debbie nudged him with her elbow this time: "I'm sure he can take a few extra minutes. You both need to un-stress," she winked at that.

Before Justin could continue arguing with her, Brian stood up and gestured towards the door with his coffee. "Come on, Sunshine. Doesn't sound like a bad idea."

******

They were almost at the loft when Brian noticed it; the smoke. Justin noticed it soon after. They didn't say anything - didn't even entertain the idea. It was too insane. Ethan - fucked up or not - wouldn't go _that_ far, right? Justin pursed his lips, straining his neck a little so he could see down the street. The smoke was growing more and more dense, blocking any view he might've had of the loft. Then he saw the tip of flames and his heart jumped.

He glanced at Brian, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden. "Brian - "

"Don't," Brian replied instantly.

When they got closer, they realized they weren't dreaming: the loft was really on fire. Not just a little one at that - the entire building was up in flames and the air was almost black with smoke. A few firetrucks were parked on the street, one or two officers were stopping traffic. Justin reached out and grabbed Brian's hand, squeezing. Brian didn't even make a joke about him being sappy, just squeezed back.

They parked the car and got out. Standing there for a long moment, they just stared at the loft, saying nothing. 

"Excuse me, you both need to get - "

Justin jerked his head, glancing at the officer approaching them. " _We_ live there," he barked out. "The top floor."

The officer faltered, his face softening. "I'm so sorry."

Brian made a little sound in the back of his throat; Justin thought it might be a pathetic attempt at a laugh.

He knew what he was thinking: sorry is bullshit.


End file.
